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Wednesday, April 4

After the Lives Were Lost

July 21, 1861

I can't believe how much pain and death surrounded me just a few hours ago. I saw brothers kill each other. I saw men's eyes go dark as the life escaped out of them. I saw soldier's having to leave they fellow comrads to die on the field 'cause there was nothin' them doctors could do about it. Our first battle, the Battle of Bull Run, some folks are calling it, could make the toughest man bawl. I don't know how some of us are keepin sane. I saw the enough gore and suffering to last me three lifetimes. And it's only the beggining. There were so many dead men, and they were all piled up, It was a terrible sight, for anyone. This boy, Junior, I helped the doctors amputate his arm cause he was going to bleed to death if it hadn't been done. His face was full of pure agony, I tell you. He had a bullet in his mouth to keep from biting his tongue off. One man, I don't know his name, was going crazy, talking about things that sound quite crazy, nobody knew what to do, and he woudn't listen to nodody anyhow.
I'm as scared as anyone, I don't want to know if this can go on like it just did, or worse.

Pvt. Freeman

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